Still Learning

God has taught me many things lately, but one in particular has been made very clear over the last eight months. 

We have been working hard between Daddy’O and myself trying to make enough to live on and start paying down debt.  Daddy’O has two jobs and I was working two very small part time jobs that added up to usually around 15 hours per week.    Daddy’O is either working or sleeping these days, so we don’t see him much.  I took the two jobs when Daddy’O was let go last August from his full time job.

My gracious mother has been coming over to watch the kids which has been a God send!  We’ve been barely hanging on in many aspects of our family life, organization, financially, relationally, etc… so I feel God is teaching me that although we are to honor our debts and pay them back, He said that it was ok to take a little longer so I can raise His precious children in the way I ought.  I have found in the past that when  you do things His way, they alwasy work out better in the end.  I just have to have faith that He is in control and He can see the finished puzzle that I cannot see. 

Consistency has gone out the window since I have been working.  My schedule changes with the work that needed done and all of the homeschool activities with the kids, so I would run out of the house four days per week for anywhere from 2-6 hours.  It was unbelievably distructive for a day of homeschooling the kids.  No matter how planned out their day was when my mom took over, I never felt good about what was accomplished.  My mom always did what I asked her to when it came to the kids’ schooling, but I usually planned less and gave them more free time so she didn’t have to carry the burden of getting it all done.  I never seemed to be home long enough to get any of the house “duties” done.  There was an activity-church,homeschool,family, friend- that always took up our time.  Plus, from all the running around with work and school activities along with having Daddy’O missing in action so much of the time, I never could keep up on the house (I’m a messy at heart already, and this compounded the problem.)

The chaos that having me work outside of the home while trying to homeschool four kids did NOT outweigh the financial benefit.  In the big picture I was not making a whole lot.  Somehow we will make up the difference.  I know that it is the right thing to do for our family. 

I am still working five hours or so at another job, but it takes me away only one afternoon and some of it I might be able to do at home.  Praise God. 

I can’t imagine what it is like for others who don’t have a choice, or think they don’t have a choice to work outside of the home.  We will have to continue to make many sacrifices, but I can say without a doubt they are worth it.  No “toy,” trip, dinner out, etc… can replace the impact I personally have on my own children when I am home with them full time.  I have always known that in my heart, but God showed me in perfect color that He meant it the first time I was led to stay home and He means it now.  I am thankful for the hard time so I can appreciate my children in a much more profound manner.

God is good.  He took me through a tiny valley to help me see that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.  Homeschooling my kids and staying home with them full time even though things are tough sometimes.


One Response

  1. you are a great mommy- I loved reading that post.

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